What is what to do when your kid doesn't make the team?

Here's some guidance on what to do when your child doesn't make a sports team:

It's tough news to deliver and process. The first thing is to allow your child to experience and process their emotions. Don't immediately try to fix it or minimize their feelings. Let them be sad, disappointed, or even angry for a bit. Acknowledge their feelings with statements like, "I understand you're upset," or "It's okay to feel disappointed."

Here's a breakdown of helpful steps:

• Listen and Validate: As mentioned above, the most important thing initially is to listen%20and%20validate your child's feelings. Resist the urge to immediately offer solutions or tell them it's "not a big deal." Let them vent.

• Avoid Blame: Don't blame the coach, other kids, or yourself. This teaches poor sportsmanship and avoids helping your child learn from the experience.

• Focus on Effort and Growth: Shift the focus from the outcome (making the team) to the process (effort, improvement, and attitude). Discuss the progress they did make. Did they improve their skills since last season? Did they work hard during tryouts? Praise these aspects.

• Understand the "Why": Once the initial emotions have subsided, you might consider, carefully and respectfully, seeking feedback from the coach. The key here is to frame it as a learning opportunity. Ask for specific areas your child could improve upon. Avoid being confrontational or arguing with the coach's decision. Understanding the "why" can provide valuable insights for future growth. However, also be prepared that the coach might not offer detailed explanations or may simply state that other players were a better fit for the team this year. Remember that understanding%20the%20why can provide closure.

• Explore Alternatives: Missing out on this team doesn't mean the end of their athletic aspirations. Explore other options such as:

  • Recreational leagues: These are often less competitive and focus on fun and development.
  • Skill-building programs: Focus on improving specific skills through clinics or private coaching.
  • Different sports: Perhaps they might enjoy and excel in a different activity altogether.
  • Practice and try out again next year: This is also a valid option if they are determined.

• Help Them Set Goals: If they want to try out again next year, help them set realistic and achievable goals to improve their skills. Break down the goals into smaller, manageable steps. Consider a training plan. Helping them set%20goals allows them to learn how to work towards achieving them.

• Model Healthy Coping: Show your child how you handle setbacks and disappointments. This is a valuable life lesson. Discuss how you've overcome challenges in your own life.

• Remember the Bigger Picture: Remind your child (and yourself) that sports are just one aspect of their life. Focus on their strengths and interests in other areas, such as academics, arts, or hobbies. Help them develop a well-rounded identity. The bigger%20picture is that they will not get everything they want in life and this is a good time to teach them how to navigate this.

• Monitor Their Emotional Well-being: While disappointment is normal, be aware of signs of persistent sadness, anxiety, or withdrawal. If you're concerned about their emotional health, consider seeking professional guidance from a therapist or counselor.